The Penis Pianist

by TFG

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about

Before TFG’s self titled album-there was, ‘The Penis Pianist.’ ‘The Penis Pianist’ is a loosely based concept album that describes the rise and fall of one of the most talented cocksuckers to ever perform a sonata; LIBERACE. Kneepad Nikki and Doc Octocock knew that they had to pay tribute to this great, sexy man. Nikki did extensive research on the life of Liberace-or ‘Lee’ as his closest friends called him. This research consisted of reading Liberace’s Wikipedia page and watching clips of the Michael Douglas/Matt Damon movie on Youtube. Doc spent almost an hour practicing piano solos and studying Liberace’s trademark piano sound. TFG had never put this much thought and preparation into an album-but the results speak for themselves. If you can’t hear the results speaking-allow us to turn them up. According to Nikki’s ex boyfriend P Nizlicka, ‘I’ve heard all the TFG albums-and I really think that The Penis Pianist is the gayest. It’s like reading from Liberace’s diary. It gives me goosebumps on my balls.’

After the success of TFG’s self titled album-Nikki stepped up his plans to re release the TFG back catalog. Nikki explains, ‘There are 8 TFG albums. The self titled release is number 8. The Penis Pianist is number 7. With the help of Joe Testiculo and Doc Octocock, I plan to get all the albums out within a 2 year period. It’s an ambitious plan, but with a bear and a twink by your side-anything is possible.’ The lead single, ‘Now Out Queers Are Everywhere’ gives the listener an indication of what’s to cum. The song features truly beautiful piano playing and captures the pathos of Liberace’s existence. Nikki explains, ‘Liberace was loved by millions-but he was terrified that he would be outed as a gay man. He lived a lie. He hung out with women as beards. He even sued magazines for printing the truth about him. If he was around today-he could have just been himself. He’d probably be a judge on Ru Paul’s Drag Race and he’d be partying in bathroom stalls with George Michael. Speaking of which, I have to call George back. I’ve just been really busy with the release of this album.’

The artwork was created by Joe Testiculo. The sonic onslaught was created by Doc Octocock. The lyrics were written by Kneepad Nikki-who was channeling the spirit of the most flamboyant musical butt pirate of the 20th century-Wiadziu Valentino Liberace. So put on your glittery cape, grab the lube, open your ears (and ass) and experience the essence of Liberace as you’ve never experienced him before; with electro blastbeats, noisy rock guitars and lispy vocals.

credits

released May 16, 2015

Kneepad Nikki - Vocals, Lyrics, Keypads
Doc Octocock - Guitar, Piano, FX, Backing Vocals and Production

TFG SEVEN

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Track Name: just a candelabra and a smile
just a candelabra and a smile

liberace is a man with a secret
he lives most of his life in fear
he plays piano better than everyone
but do not ever call him a queer
he likes cock and balls and ass
his mother casts a large shadow
when hillbilly men kiss his pecker
it makes his dick want to blow
just a shy boy with a piano
and a speech impediment
he wanted to play classical music
pop opportunity is heaven sent
go out to vegas to make money
all the women love to look at lee
but the men gamble when he plays
they have no idea he is gay
tv allows him to hype his act
shamelessly flirt with the camera
just a candelabra and a smile
he takes it up the ass doggystyle
you claim that gay men are evil
and punished in the afterlife
i think you are punished now
when you fuck your old fat wife
now liberace is open for business
he receives every day all year
he takes deliveries in the rear
Track Name: pavlovian response makes him drool
pavlovian response makes him drool

liberace sues the press all the time
they printed that he is a fruit
his clothes go out for dry cleaning
to remove load stains from his suit
his fans are mostly older broads
they do not think he is a threat
hopefully he can blow their sons
unless they are not of age yet
he lives with his brother and mom
they have a big piano shaped pool
when lee sees an erect penis
pavlovian response it makes him drool
management tells him how to act
but it is not easy to pretend
men are sexy young or old
soon they will spread his rear end
his beard is not on his face
it is sitting right next to lee
he bangs hot dudes in the bathroom
when he claims he has to pee
these annoying chicks make my head hurt
beautiful guys make my dick squirt
homos like to fuck not flirt
we dont buy dinner or desert
dont forget to wax your back
shoulders down to your ass crack
if you wax between your cheeks
toss your salad 5 days a week
Track Name: they can penetrate his asshole
they can penetrate his asshole

lee loves luxury and excess
his costumes are out of control
dudes who like his sensual bottom
they can penetrate his asshole
liberace is still insecure
but he is a rich celebrity
balls are hairy and full of sweat
ill rub yours if you let me
if only he could be immortal
to protect his musical legacy
it is far too scary to come out
its more important that you like lee
he knows michael jackson and bubbles
and he also knows hot scott thorson
they love to 69 all the time
eat hot cum and drink chilled wine
he claims scott is just a chauffeur
but we know he pounds his ass
they both got plastic surgery
to look similar as you can see
because you read all the holy books
you think you know right and wrong
writings are open to interpretation
god wants everyone to get along
liberace met a mexican queer
he said 'hola homo se llama'
both of them went out for a beer
they did not fuck too much drama
Track Name: horny men are the best to screw
horny men are the best to screw

hillbilly me turn liberace on
rough around the edges type dudes
they will make out and then wrestle
and i mean wrestle in the nude
scott did drugs and way too much
he used coke and lee disapproves
both of them really love to move
in and out of a hairy groove
im talking about raw butt sex
use lube and spit to prepare it
first a finger and then two
horny men are the best to screw
somehow lee wound up with aids
but he held on to his wig
a hard cock and his ass are a fit
guess what they are both quite big
liberace is a great musician
and a consummate entertainer
young guys with bad teeth can blow him
once they remove their retainer
i went out to the gay barbecue
it was all dick and no tit
i knew it was a gay barbecue
because the hot dogs tasted like shit
gay men in new york are sexy
with shaved heads like mr clean
us government gave them aids
it was in the hepatitis b vaccine
Track Name: he tickles ivories with his fingers (tickle his boner with your tongue)
he tickles ivories with his fingers (tickle his boner with your tongue)

liberace is such a tragic figure
and not because of his death
he couldnt publicly be himself
not before his final breath
his lesson is there for us all
be a queen if you are a queen
dont listen to the homophobic people
they are not cool theyre just mean
gays are just like other folks
they all like getting off with friends
go ahead stimulate that prostate
a middle finger in his rear end
he tickles ivories with his fingers
tickle his boner with your tongue
no cigarettes and no red meat
sperm down your throat is a treat
dress flamboyantly when on stage
pretend to be straight in life
lee wants a husband with a mustache
not some hollywood bimbo wife
does the pope shit in the woods
and is the bear a catholic
i have a message for homophobes
you should go play in traffic
Track Name: now out queers are everywhere
now out queers are everywhere


sequins make liberace feel alive
sexy tight pants and also a cape
if that man is naked and drunk
eat his ass and then a grape
women who worship lee are gross
they smell bad and eat pot roast
they live in lame middle america
while homos populate either coast
his fingers can move very quickly
playing the piano they are a blur
then those digits explore the anus
the anus of a him not her
liberace was just born too early
now out queers are everywhere
maybe he should have shaved his head
instead of a toupee with horse hair
i fuck guys and they fuck me
dont hide that from my family
men scream out in pleasure and pain
the ejaculations flow like rain
if you dont approve of gay sex
then listen up i have an idea
eat some turkey and drink some beer
take a long walk on a short pier
Track Name: pool boys come and pool boys go
pool boys come and pool boys go
from The Penis Pianist by Totally Fucking Gay
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The Penis Pianist cover art

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lyrics
pool boys come and pool boys go

pool boys come and pool boys go
liberace cums and cums again
he buys them gifts all the time
if they bend over hes their friend
liberace is one of a kind
he tears up the stage at night
new york or vegas or la
hes half a genius but totally gay
he enjoys a nice stuff drink
then enjoys a nice stiff rod
he hangs out in san francisco
fire island and also cape cod
i know that lee shaves his package
but he does not shave his chest
he might take loads on the face
or might get a hot sperm vest
his thighs are strong like a horse
his cock is huge like a horse
he sings all night and gets hoarse
and he is a butt pirate of course
Track Name: god understands if you like dick
god understands if you like dick

god understands if you like dick
he just wants you to spread love
dont be a judgmental prick
give a queer a hug not a shove
talent and kindness are what counts
this beat will make homos bounce
hot dudes make lee want to pounce
shoot a load greater than one ounce
famous folks are gay it is ok
there is no reason for you to hide
first rock hudson bent liberace over
then he rammed his dick inside
threesomes happen on monday and wednesday
masturbation on thursday at 6
orgies on friday and saturday too
a gay man cant get too many dicks
who gave you the right to judge
just because two hot guys pack fudge
this world was built by all kinds
drop the hate and open your minds
l-i-b b is for balls
e-r-a a is for ass
c and e ejaculation
queers always hook up on vacation
Track Name: all conservatives should be shot
all conservatives should be shot

liberace is not just a flamer
hes a musician and entertainer
all conservatives should be shot
like rush limbaugh and john boehner
lee had hot studs in every state
he liked to watch them masturbate
boys and men in every town
they dressed up in evening gowns
liberace sold out radio city
the crowd was full of saggy titties
but backstage was penis land
burly men with tumescent glands
take a drink and drop your drawers
now its time get on all fours
lee was good friends with betty white
they pretended that they were dating
but he was repulsed by her hole
it was stinky when menstruating
all gay dudes like to suck cock
get our lovers hard as a rock
we do not want any more wars
peace with russia iran and iraq
i dont listen to men of the cloth
i would rather bang david lee roth
vote for the governor and the mayor
choose the candidate who is gayer
queers in power influence the laws
marriage equality deserves applause
Track Name: pound his rectum with your erection
pound his rectum with your erection

liberace was a world class pianist
and his lover had a world class penis
lee sings with a clear inflection
pound his rectum with your erection
religious assholes dont like lee
but they do listen to his music
liberace was hung like an elephant
his young lovers all called him two dick
liberace died back in 1987
and he was born in 1919
when an old queer ejaculates
his dick sprays out dust and steam
gay dudes dont have to pay for sex
they just say hello once they meet
after some small talk they 69
suck and swallow each others meat
the church leaders disapprove of gays
but those hypocrites can fuck off
sometimes altar boys do get fondled
by the horny old men of the cloth
do your squats for a sexy butt
work out back and arms and chest
bears are good to dominate you
but the twinks suck cock the best
dick dick dick in my asshole
finger and finger in your butt
i need a guy who goes to the gym
one with a six pack not a gut